I used to be the woman who would watch and judge as a mother would grab a child by the waist in a store and storm out as their wailing child would try desperately to escape the arm prison they were in. I used to say: when I'm a mom, I will calmly explain to my child how to behave and calmly diffuse the situation. I used to be the judgy person who would often say: "when I'm a mom, I will never do blah blah blah...". Now I find myself either a) doing the things I said I'd never do or b) nodding along as I see something that I will most likely do in the future. A few days ago I read a post about a mother who is adamantly against formula feeding. In her opinion, the women who claim they didn't produce enough milk or who's baby was allergic to milk and ended up formula feeding are simply ignorant. She believes that there are ways around all the problems. For example, she states that a change in diet, nursing on demand, not introducing a bottle too early, etc. are all things that a woman needs to do in order to be able to breastfeed. Some of her supporters add that essential oil and herbs help, and that those who give up on breastfeeding are self sabotaging and are damaging all future breastfeeding women by feeding them lies. Anyways, all things that make me cringe. Those are some of the same words I heard when I had made a decision to formula feed my babies. The first preemie doctor I dealt with basically told me that Jacob wasn't able to digest his feeds because it wasn't breast milk and that I should really re-consider. At this point, Jacob wasn't even able to take 1ml, his stomach just didn't know what to do so aside from being scared that my tiny little 3lbs baby wasn't able to digest, I was made to feel like it was partially my fault. I started pumping that same hour, hoping that I could save my son. Come to find out that it wasn't the type of food he was getting, because it was still happening with my breast milk, he just needed to be forced to digest, which is what his actual doctor did and he started digesting no problem. At that point, I had time, so I just kept pumping during their month stay in the NICU. I honestly would have been ok with them getting simply formula because I knew that I wouldn't have been able to keep it up at home. Kudos to my triplet mommas who were able to do it, but I can honestly say that if they weren't nursing, they were pumping and they had very little time to do little else. Maybe I was selfish, and maybe I could have breastfed, God knows I had enough milk but I CHOSE not to and no one should be able to tell me how to mother my children. We all have our challenges (in my case I had three babies to feed) and formula feeding our children is OK just like breastfeeding our children is OK. I honestly wish I could have breastfed, because, among other things, do you know how much money we could have saved?!?
I am also a big time advocate for the CIO method (Cry It Out) for sleep training my baby. Not too long ago, I read a post by someone (who had no children at that time by the way) state that those people who do CIO are stupid, uneducated and should have had to apply for a license before becoming parents. I'm really sorry but my children have been sleeping through the night (7-7) since they were 4 months old. They are well rested, they are happy and love their routine. They did CIO for three nights at most and never for longer than 30 minutes. Yes, it must have been awful for their little hearts at the time, and I felt awful the whole way through but man are my babies good sleepers now. I also don't judge those who decide they want to do attachment parenting, that's their CHOICE. Not the choice I would have made even if I had one baby, but nonetheless no judgement.
My last bit of bitterness about judgy people is about this lady in Carters who judged me that my children didn't have winter coats on. My children, when we go in our pre-heated and well warmed van to a hopefully heated store, wear layers. It has been studied and demonstrated that car seats are not safe during a collision if your child has a big bulky winter coat between his body and the straps. According to consumer reports, it's even considered a dangerous combination. So no, my children don't wear bulky winter clothing when we are in the van, I want them safe. If it's especially cold, I'll put a blanket around them. If we're going somewhere where we will be outside for an extended period of time, I will put on their winter pants over a couple of sweaters and either put their winter coat on backwards once they're already strapped in or again, a blanket. So lady, F off and read/watch this:
Car Seat Safety
I'm sorry to rant and I know that I can't stop the condescending people and if I have to be honest, I am totally and hypocritically one of those women who judge other mothers. I try to put myself in their shoes, and I sometimes have a hard time but I don't think I will ever write an article about it... maybe I'm wrong and maybe I am just as judgy as those other people but because what I judge makes sense to me, maybe I am just a hypocrite. Anyways, let's all try to walk a mile before opening our mouths shall we?
My sister is doing well, thanks for caring still. We are still waiting to hear news on the next steps.
This week was my March Break and my kids went to daycare (yet another controversial subject but since I'm done my rant, I won't go on). Monday, I had planned on taking a day completely to myself, just doing nothing but watching Season 4 of Downton Abbey without interruption. Well, my mother changed THAT plan... (love you mom) no big deal, I still had four days. I was a chauffeur to my mother so I got to spend time with her and also got to spend time with my sister, so the day was a good day after all. Tuesday, I had already planned to get my baby clothes ready for the big consignment sale coming up in April. I can get this all done in one day! Nope, phone rings, Zachary has been having some diarrhea so off I go to daycare to get my little man. Thankfully, he had already had lunch and fell asleep on the way home so all I had to do was undress him and put him in his crib and he slept for 2.5 hours! Momma got stuff done! I didn't finish it all but most of it was done. I made sure I was super organized this year. Wednesday was supposed to be an all day Netflix movie day with my mother, my sister and my nieces. Well since Zachary had to be home for 24 hours, that day was off. The next morning, Zachary was able to go to daycare since he hadn't had a runny poop since the previous morning so they said he was fine to go in. Yeah!! Movie day is a.... No go.... I somehow gave my mother and sister the flu. Go me! Let's make my sister sicker than she needs to be! So I came home and go to have my "me" day. I got down with Downton quite quickly as I kept thinking my phone was going to ring for me to go get one or multiple of my children. The phone didn't ring and I got a full day off! Can you believe it?!? It felt awesome but I felt so guilty at the same time... Thursday I finished the sale stuff and got some Jamberry work done and Friday I had a nice morning tea date with Alicia, had a surprise lunch date with my husband and did more Jamberry work in the afternoon. All in all, it was a good week, I got to relax and got a lot of stuff done. You would think I'd be well rested for my return to work tomorrow but we ended up at the ER with Jacob who ended up spending most of the night in our bed. Poor little buddy fell (from his knees, like they do a thousand times a day) but he got really drowsy and pale and just wasn't himself so we got scared that he hit his head in just the wrong way. After calling telecare and being advised to go get him checked out (isn't that what they always say?), Jacob proceeds to throw up. This is when I get really nervous that he gave himself a concussion or something... Get to the ER, we get through super quick, get an X-Ray and are out of there within 3 hours. Nothing showed on the X-Ray and Jacob had re-gained color and was acting like his good old monkey self by the time we were sent home. The doctor said to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't throw up again and to go home. Hence why he spent the night in our bed. By 4am, confident that he was fine and having only maybe slept 3 hours total, my little man went to his own bed. Last night, Samuel woke us up at 3am and he got some time in our bed. I am really hoping that I get a full nights sleep tonight but who knows... this whole time change thing might mess with them. But here's to hoping!
I hope you all had a great March Break and let's hope Spring comes to us soon! Here are some pics:
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| Getting ready for the sale |
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| The tire piece that made my husband lose his wheel while working around Truro... Thankfully he's ok! |
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| I have no idea what this is, but it doesn't look good |
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| My mom was at my house helping with the other boys while we were at the ER with Jacob and she asked for a picture. Jacob was busy crying his eyes out while getting his xray so I sent her this. |
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| This is what she WANTED to see... |
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| Samuel was so tired, he almost fell asleep watching TV while sitting super comfortably on this toy car |
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| Jacob & Mommy selfie |
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| The boys watching "Baby Babble". Still the only show that will calm them down at anytime. |
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| Daddy and Zachary had gone shopping so I was a "twin" mommy for an hour. SO MUCH EASIER! lol |
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| My awesome new wine glasses that I was able to get with my Jamberry money!! Yes, one has already been used... |
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| This is from last week's walk |
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| Jacob wouldn't stop crying and we were wondering why... poor little dude couldn't see... hehe |
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| I caved and got them mini hockey sticks at the store this morning |
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| They played more "Let's hit stuff" and "Oo! A new chew toy" than hockey though... |
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| Sam's the only one who almost has it down |
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| Zachary had such a good happy day today! |
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| My mom came to visit |
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| Samuel getting some Mamie love |
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| Jacob loving the camera, as always! |
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| Getting ready for our winter walk |
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| So cute right?!? |
