Week 6 @ Home ~ Hug them tightly...

Getting ready for the game!!  I sent this to Ellen... maybe it'll get on her show?!? 

My poor little buddies had to go for yet another shot this week... They're going to start really hating being put in their car seats because every time I put them in there, I bring them to a place where they're either being poked by super sharp things, having someone put a speculum in their eyes and having a super bright light shone in them, or prodded by doctors and nurses weighing them, measuring their lengths, scared on purpose to check reflexes or bent every which way to make sure their range of movements is developing normally.  I have seriously never put them in their car seat for a good reason... I would hate my car seat too!!!  They only hate their seats when the van is not moving so it's not too bad, I just gotta keep driving through red lights!   During their RSV shot appointment, they were also visited by an occupational therapist who was so proud of their progress.  She said I must have been doing my homework because their range of motion was really really good.  She even said that she should get me to talk to the other mothers!  I love when I do things right!!  I'm so sick of all those appointments but thankfully, they have no appointments until the end of the month.  We have a nurse coming over to the house to weigh them and see how things are doing this Thursday but there is no car ride for that one!  The worse thing about going to appointments, except for the fact that my boys cry, is that they always seem to fall during feeding time... just imagine having to feed three babies in an awkward space at the hospital without the comforts of home, trying to change their bums with only a super thin changing pad between them and a hard surface (and of course, one of them ALWAYS has a poopy bum!!), it's not a fun time I tell you!  I'm just really glad I wasn't alone for any of the appointments yet.  On Thursday, the boys had their eyes checked, where they had to go through the whole speculum in the eyes thing again (they aced it!!), and although my mother was leaving that afternoon, she had just enough time to come help, come home right on time to top off their feeding, (as they didn't eat well at the hospital), call a cab and leave!  What a rush!!!  We were both so sad she was leaving, me because I was scared of being alone and her because she would miss us so much (and I'm sure because she didn't want to leave me alone).  A part of me was glad she was leaving, not because I didn't want her here anymore but partly because I knew she was getting tired and she needed a break and partly because I wanted to know if I could do it on my own.  Now I use the term "on my own" loosely because my husband is always around.  He told me he'd get up to help me in the middle of the night if I needed him, but like I said before, he drives for a living, sometimes long distances and I would never forgive myself if anything were to happen to him while driving.  I had three feedings alone and they went ok... I'm still trying to figure out the best way to do it.  I've asked for advice from my other triplet mommas and tonight I'll try yet another method.  It was really tiring but I got through it.  I was so tired that I woke up to a baby's cry and I was holding my pillow like a baby and I was actually feeding it! lol... It wasn't too bad as my sister came to help in the afternoon so it gave me some rest... She's going help three days next week, my mother in law will come two days and a friend of mine will come for an afternoon so my days won't be too bad.... To help at night, Gabe will get up just long enough to help set me up and maybe change a bum or two while the milk gets ready and we'll see how he feels the next day.  He may even handle the 10pm feeding by himself while I go sleep from 8pm to 1am so that I get some sleep in me to make it through the night with more energy.  We will figure it out, and it won't be forever, hopefully in a few months they will sleep their nights and life will be a little easier... HA HA HA say the moms reading this right now right?  Let me dream ok???? 

I want to give a shout out to Heidi and Julie of Jones Photography who took the newborn shots.  You can visit www.jonesphotography.net for a sample of the pictures they took.  I know I mentioned on the last blog that we had done a newborn shoot but I wanted to make sure that you all knew how grateful we are that those girls were the ones taking the pictures.  They were so good with the babies.  Although it took like 4 hours to get through it all, they were so patient with our babies and us, I can't recommend them enough!!  Just in case you're interested, they don't just do newborn shoots but also family and toddlers, etc.  

For those of you who may be curious about my health update (yeah right... who cares about you?? BABIES BABIES BABIES!!!)  Skip ahead then!  haha...  So I lost 2 lbs the first week and then I gained one this week... such is the story of my life, at least I'm still down overall (1 lbs is still down!!).  Two things made me realize that I needed to step it up this week.  I went shopping for clothes (HA!!), nothing fit... and whatever fit my belly was like 10x too big for my legs so I guess pregnancy pants will have to be a staple in my wardrobe for a while yet!   Also, this picture... 

Yes, my grand-mother looks adorable (she's the cutest person I know) but man oh man don't we look HUMONGUS around her?? I feel like we could swallow her whole!! haha... So this week I am going to try to eat clean... something that is really hard to do when you're eating on the run, but I'll try to prepare a few things ahead of time and see how it goes, I'll keep you posted! 

Speaking of food... I made bread this week!! I'm obsessed with home made white bread so it may not have been the best idea to learn how to make it (see above) but it may come in handy one day!  Anyways, on Wednesday night, I decided that I wanted to make grilled cheese sandwiches with my amazing white bread (I did good!) while the babies were sleeping and giving us a moment's rest.  The grilled cheeses were pure perfection... you know when you get them just right, not burnt, perfectly crispy and cheese amazingly and perfectly melted, get the picture?  Well you can just imagine how much I was looking forward to eating them (if you know me, you know I like me my food!).  I put my plate down on the living room ottoman (some of you have already figured out the ending right?) and as I was going to sit down to devour the whole thing, one of the babies starts to cry, like a screeching cry so of course, I hurry to their room. I finally calm Samuel down (he had spit up and was basically laying in his throw up poor buddy) and as I made my way back to the living room I was already predicting what I would see when I got there... No, it was not my beautiful grilled cheeses waiting for me but an empty plate and a guilty looking dog shying away from me... I wanted to strangle her for eating my dream... instead I threw what was left of the sandwich at her... missed her by a mile, almost hit my stunned looking husband and hit the window instead.  Yes folks, I am crazy, judge me if you must, you've all done it (right?!?) but it was the last straw for me this week...  I had my first break down since coming home with the boys 30 seconds after that throw... It just hit me all of a sudden how difficult it was going to be now that my mother was leaving.  I was scared about doing the nights alone.  I was scared that I had over-worked my mother. I was scared that my tiredness would lead to my resenting Gabe and that would lead to fights (which we've never really had).  I was scared that I couldn't handle it myself and the babies would suffer from it and I was scared that I would never sleep again...haha...  I'm glad I have a good husband that even after almost being hit by a flying grilled cheese by his wacko wife, came to soothe my worries and told me how great I was.  He told me tonight as I was telling this story to his parents that had the sandwich hit him it may have started our first real fight... I told him not really as he would have yelled and said something along the lines of: "Are you f-ing kidding me??" and I would have just started bawling my eyes out.   He came home the following day with a card telling me that he loved me and we were going to be ok...cute right?  We both have our moments and I know that we will have a lot of things to work through when it comes to raising these boys (I might want to actually hit him with a sandwich), but I am confident that with the open communication we have always had, even amidst the eye rolling and the disagreements, we will make it through to their graduation! haha... 

The boys are doing well... Growing like weeds!  On Monday, Zachary weighed 8lbs6oz, Samuel weighed 8lbs1oz and Jacob weighed 7lbs2oz.  They were 10 weeks old (2 weeks adjusted) this Thursday so during the next few weeks we will start seeing more and more developments.  As they smile when they have cramps, they're starting to show us what they will look like when they're actually smiling at us and we can't wait... can they be any cuter?? I don't know... Zachary and Jacob started spitting up like crazy this week... sometimes I swear it's as if Zachary spits up his whole bottle!!!  After reading many resources, I was rest assured that baring any projectile vomit, empty diapers or signs of discomfort (of which he has none), I shouldn't worry.  I figure if his diapers keep being full, that means SOMETHING must be going in right?  They are always taking their turn at being fussy and at wanting to be held and the position they like to sleep in seems to change with every nap and every night and every baby!   Overall, I think they are developing well, they are starting to follow rattles with their eyes.  No eye contact yet, but it's coming and I can't wait!! 

So a fellow NICU momma lost her infant son this week... this broke me to pieces... for her and for the possibility of it having been me...  Every time I think about it, I still get chills and tears immediately come to my eyes.  They're not sure what happened but they think it may have been SIDS.  No one can really explain what brings on SIDS sometimes, that's why it's called sudden...  I'm always scared that I don't pick up on something that may be wrong with one of the boys that would result in harm coming to them... what if they're sick and I don't know?  What if the decision to start letting them sleep on their stomach was the wrong call?  What if what I think is normal isn't normal at all???  What if, what if, what if... what if I spend my life living with what ifs??  I would never sleep... I just have to keep telling myself that I will do the best that I can, the same way Liam's mom Christine did and hope that nothing terrible happens.  She is an amazing mother, having already had two other older boys at home so there's nothing that could have predicted what happened to Liam.  I have to just hug my babies tight every day and enjoy every moment because I know by experience that someone you love can be gone from your life in a moment's notice without you being able to do anything about it.  

So on that note... live well, love much and laugh often my friends... 

Pics of the week:

My aunt Rita (my sister's Godmother and my father's sister) who came up from Campbelton to visit with my grandmother... she said that Samuel spoke to her so she immediately went to pick him up.  She even promised to sponsor his hockey career should he want one... We'll have to remember that one!!! 

My other aunt Dorine (another of my father's sisters) who was holding Zachary.  

My Mémère LeBlanc (my dad's mom).  These babies are so precious to her as they are my late father's grandsons.  It's like a part of him will live on in my babies... that's the way I see it too, just like I saw the same in my nieces... He would have been so proud of his little ones...  

So Roxy decided she no longer liked her bed last night (the comfy looking one on the right).  She decided she'd try to fit under the swings.  We laughed so hard as she was trying to curl her way underneath while hitting her head on one swing and then the other... what a weirdo!  I have since forgiven her the sandwich debacle but it took a while! 

Melanie and Julien came for a visit!  Melanie loves babies so much (she has two daughters) that she asked Julien if he'd be willing to have more after cuddling the babies for a while...  How could you not?  (he said no...haha)

Mémère & Pépère Arsenault came for a Sunday night visit, bringing us supper and helping Papa feed the babies as I started this blog entry.  It was Pépère's first time holding all three... Are they in love you think?? 

My aunt Paulette who was over for a few days helping out as my mother was taking her to Florida for a well deserved two week vacation.  She also fell in love with the babies quite quickly but wouldn't change their dirty bums!! haha

Little Jacob sleeping in his new (self induced!!!) side sleeping position.  What is he dreaming about you think??  It looks like he's holding up a giant box maybe?? 

Zachary so peaceful...

Samuel is my best sucker!! Not only did he find his thumb first (and only so far still) but he will actually keep his soother in without sucking it out of his mouth! 

One of our picture out-takes...  Jacob looks like he's trying to stop this huge piece of paper from falling on them, Samuel look drunk in the middle and thinks it's the funniest thing happening and Zachary has accepted his fate!