23 weeks ~ Thoughts

When you have so much time on your hands, you find yourself thinking about a lot of different things... This week I thought a lot about my future babies and how we would be able to handle it all, the busyness of it all, the finances, our relationship... Like it or not, even just one child changes the dynamics of a relationship and although I know Gabe and I are a really good team and we're really good at communicating, it'll be tough to communicate properly with all the commotion that will be in the house.  We are both stubborn people who always think our way is the best way and never having raised a child before, I just don't know how we're going to deal with raising three.  We are going to have a lot of support from our families, but even that will be difficult to add to our duo.  The way my mother thinks will be different than the way his mother thinks and vice versa, and the way I'll want to do things, after talking with friends, may not be the way it was done in the days when I was a baby.  Trust me, we are going to love, appreciate and crave all the support we're going to have, I just foresee a lot of eye rolling and "whatevers" and "fine, do it your way" from anyone who comes to help.  I'm no expert on child rearing, we are first time parents, and it won't matter how many books and blogs I read or how many conversations I have with other mothers, I just won't know how to do it until I meet my boys and get a feel for what they need.  There are so many methods now, so many "don't do's", so many things that are now requirements that weren't the same just 5 or 10 years before that I feel like no one really knows anything... Look at how many of us survived the "OMG, I can't believe people use to do this with their babies!" methods, our mothers just did what they felt they needed to do, not what some book told them to do... I'm not saying I won't read the books and I won't watch the videos, I'm sure they're going to help me out and help me figure things out and make my life simpler as many of those methods have been tried and obviously have been successful, I'm just saying that I have to make sure that I take it all in and then do what's best for our kids.  Now that I feel them move all the time, it's becoming a reality that I never really accepted until now.  There are three little ones in my belly that are going to turn our lives upside down within the next three months, creating a whole new universe filled with poop, puke, milk, sleep deprivation but also SO MUCH LOVE and laughter and endless adventures.  Day by day is what we'll have to keep telling ourselves.

I also thought about people's curiosity this week... We still have the same old question almost every time we meet someone new: "are they natural?".  I understand and realize that with them being triplets, a very rare thing, it's hard not to wonder.  I would wonder too.  I watched a video this week that made me realize why I'm so bothered every time I hear that question, I guess I feel like they are really asking us "Did you struggle with infertility?".  This always takes me back to the struggle Gabe and I had trying to get pregnant and how miserable I felt every month when I wasn't pregnant.  Gabe telling me he just wants me to be happy and for over a year, I never truly felt happy because I so wanted us to have a baby that it's all I could focus on.  It's a wonder our relationship survived... I won't go into details because they are, for obvious reasons,  very personal, but that year + of struggle helped me know for certain that if our relationship can make it through that, we can survive anything.  There are a lot of people out there who struggled with infertility and were blessed with one child, and they don't get asked that question, so just try and be respectful of people.  There are many things I'm curious about when I see people, like when someone has lost a limb, I really want to know what happened, but I'm not about to go up to that person and say "How did you lose your leg?".  I know it's not the same thing AT ALL and I'm not trying to compare the loss of a limb to my triplet pregnancy... I don't know, I just feel that there are personal boundaries that people just shouldn't cross and you never know how a simple question can bring up a lot of painful memories...

On a happier note, I was busy this week and I got to see and spend time with a lot of people I love.  I had an ice cream & pizza date (yes, in that order) with my girlfriends from work who I miss like crazy.  I went to see the first quarter of our school's spirit football game, where we kicked major a** I must say, GO ROYALS!  I went shopping with a friend for her wedding dress, she was gorgeous in all that she tried on!  I spent a nice evening with my mother, step-dad, Gabe and my nieces, who are just crazy amazing little girls and I had a nice lunch with friends yesterday.  After being cooped up all the time, it's nice to get out as I know I won't be doing too much of that soon!  We also got to shop early at the Moncton Multiple Sale, which was great! The organizers let us in at 7:15 and since I can't walk to far or for too long nowadays, we were able to borrow a wheelchair and Gabe pushed me around while we looked at all sorts of baby stuff.  We took home a good haul!  I felt silly being pushed around but everyone in there (we shopped with the volunteers) seemed to know that the girl in the wheelchair was the girl with the triplets... and you know what, not once were we asked if our babies were natural!! haha...

The babies this week are the size of large grapefruits...  I heard their heartbeats and they are all between 140 and 160 which is great.  I get to see them again on Tuesday and I can't wait to see how much they've grown!

It looks a little pointy this week... maybe that's why my super innie belly button is starting to show it's weird little face...