Laughter is the best medicine...

 This post might be short and sweet this week because my poor little Zachary cried and cried all evening and his momma is very tired...  He cried during his bottle (which has become a sort of norm...) and then he cried before bed... It never used to be this way.. I mean, Zachary was always my picky eater and he has always been my most fussy baby but it has regressed this week.  I have such a hard time feeding him now, especially when I'm alone and I have two other babies to feed.  He'll drink his first few ounces no problem and then it's like something hit him hard and he'll start bawling.  I called the paediatrician who told me not to force him if he doesn't want to eat which is what I did the next day and it seemed to work.  It worked for about a day and a half... I really thought I had it solved but now he won't even drink half his bottle before the screeching begins.  I mean, I won't let my child only drink 3oz per feed!  He'll eat better if we walk around with him, but we can't do that forever!  Today I bought an exercise ball and after he started crying after 2oz, I sat on the ball and fed him on that and he finished 7oz!!  We had the Family Channel on and he was watching that while we were rocking on the ball... I don't know, maybe he just needs distraction but I really don't want to be feeding my baby rocking on an exercise ball four times a day, especially if I have two other babies to feed so I really hope to figure out what's wrong with him... On top of his aversion to his bottle, he now has an aversion to going to sleep at night... for the past two nights, Gabe and I have spent about an hour trying to calm him down enough to go to sleep...  we've done the CIO (cry it out), we've rocked, we've sang, we've bounced, and he'll just cry and cry... First he'll cry because he doesn't want to sleep, then he'll cry because he's angry that we won't pick him up and lastly he'll cry because he's tired which is when the NOTHING works to calm him...  He was, again, always the hardest one to put to bed, but nothing like this...  It's just tiring and sad because I just don't know what to do and it makes me feel so defeated...  We are going to see the high-risk doctor on Tuesday with the boys so I'm hoping he can give me some insight as to what's up with him.  Maybe he's just a needy baby??  I mean, don't get me wrong, I love giving my boys some cuddles, but at this point, he needs more than cuddles to soothe him and it's getting harder and harder on both he and I...

Here he is cuddling on his momma today... he didn't want to nap in his crib so I cuddled :)

Jacob and Samuel also decided this week that they would be difficult eaters... like I need that! Ha!  They drink their first 3/4 of their bottle no problem and then decide that it's much more fun to play with the nipple with their tongue than it is to drink!  Then they look at me and smile... it's hard to be upset with them when they do that!!  It's like they've discovered a new game that makes them laugh and then they know it makes us laugh so they don't eat, they just play!  I can't wait to start solids... that should be fun!! haha...  

All these feeding difficulties make me realize how much hired help would be beneficial!!!  When I was pregnant, I got many promises of help from friends who soon realized that they have their own lives to live and can't stop that life on my account.  Life gets busy without you realizing it and good intentions often remain just that.  I, in no way shape or form, resent any of them for this.  I just wish I could win the lottery to be able to afford to hire help full time!  My mother, bless her heart, helps me as much as she can, but she also has her own life to live and can't be here all the time.  These are my children and most days I can handle it on my own but some days I have to call my husband to come home early because I just can't take it anymore and break down in tears the moment he walks in the door.  I've heard my friends say to other people that I "make it look easy" well trust me, that's all it is, and illusion because as much as I've got it under control most of the time, I would never call what I do easy but it is, despite all my bitchiness, the best job I've ever been "given".  One year ago today I nervously walked into the fertility clinic to get my first IUI treatment hoping this would finally give us the child we so desperately wanted... it wasn't a great romantic "you were conceived under a moonlight sky in Paris" sort of story... more like "under a big hospital light with daddy holding my hand and another woman in my vagina" sort of story but it will still be one of the greatest days of my life because my boys were created that day and I will forever cherish every non romantic part of it!

Regardless of all the difficulties this life brings, there are wonderful moments as well... Samuel has started to laugh (see video below) and the other two boys aren't far behind... 

Aside from Zachary's struggles with his feedings and his nighttime routine, he loves to dance and play on his playmat.  He still sounds like a cat when he's happy and it's the cutest and funniest sound you've ever heard.  Jacob has also started laughing, but is not quite full forced yet.  He is such a happy funny kid!  They are all grasping at objects, bringing the toys that hang above them on the playmats to their faces.  They're trying to touch their faces in the mirror (even though I learned today from watching a documentary that they won't know it's their own faces until they're like 2 so to them, they're playing with another baby...).  They are looking at each other more and more and I sometimes find them looking to see where the other ones are.  Samuel and Jacob love to stand on their toes.  Zachary has no muscle tone yet so he loves to sit in a sort of W on us.  I'm working on getting him to stand tall.  We are also going to see the physical therapist and the occupational therapist on Tuesday so they'll give me an idea as to where the boys are at and what I need to do to continue their progress.  Another reason why I bought the exercise ball is because I saw that it can be a good tool to help their physical development so it'll be fun to play with them on the ball.  They are getting better and better at sitting (assisted of course) and they are starting to like it more and more.  I'm looking forward to the day when I can put all three of them in their Bumbos in a circle and they can all chit chat.  

Well this turned into a longer post than I meant it to be but my eyes are closing as I'm writing so I'll just put up the pictures (which is what you really come to see anyway...) and say good night...

Auntie Sarah lent us a bunch of clothes so we had to put them on right away!  Samuel looking dapper :)

Zachary looking every bit like the little man he is...

Jacob's Daddy's #1 little man alright!  

Mommy trying to make tummy time more fun with a big mirror :)

Samuel rocking his new shades!  He was the only one in a good enough mood for me to try them on! 

Mel must have held Sam for about an hour at the birthday party! 

Zachary watching the TV

Samuel...with his tongue....always out!! 

Jacob in his new PJs due to his having spit up all over the last one...or two...or three... my little man likes spitting up! 

This pic clearly shows the progression of all my boys.  Jacob is a tummy time pro, Samuel is a semi-pro and Zachary... well he's still an amateur but we're working on it... Clearly, he hates me at the moment this picture was taken and Jacob is looking at him as if to say "What's your problem?!?"

Jacob trying to look at the TV through the mirror (he's obsessed... we've already had to wean him off TV!!)

Jacob prefers to suck on his fingers rather than his thumb... he also makes himself gag which in turn makes him... you guessed it: SPIT UP! haha... I just think he likes new outfits!  

Starting to master the Bumbo... Samuel is doing much better than Jacob.  Zachary is as good as Samuel but he was sleeping at the time and we only currently have two Bumbos. 

Zachary is doing much better after a few days of practice

Leaning to the side but liking it more and more

Just a super cute pic! 

So we got snow this week.... only in the Maritimes my friends... 

Gabe not looking to pleased about having to clean the cars of snow... again!  haha

The boys in their super cute plaid shirts (again, thanks Auntie Sarah!!)

We got to take part of a donation to the Moncton Hospital NICU by the Moncton Multiple Association of which I'm a proud member!.  The chair I'm sitting on is going to be amazing to all the moms in there.  The chairs they currently have don't hold a candle to this one.  When you're trying to give your baby  (or babies)  skin to skin time (which is proven to be beneficial to the growth and development of sick/premature babies), you want to be as comfortable as possible and having been able to sit in this new donated chair , I can tell you that the moms will be fighting over this one!!   These are the sort of things you're contributing to when you go to the Moncton Multiple Sale and such things so on behalf of all the moms who are going to get to enjoy this chair during a difficult time in their lives, I say THANK YOU!! 

It was one of my best friend's baby shower today.  My in-laws came to help out Gabe and I got to spend a wonderful two hours with friends I don't get to see often enough!!  You can see the beautiful mother to be smiling in the background! 

All the kids at the birthday party!  We finally got to meet the rest of the crew!!

Good night my friends... thanks for your support and remember to live, laugh and love.... xox

Happy Easter!!

If I look up at my calendar from the past week, it's completely bare.  I think it's the first time it's been empty since the boys have been home so we had a nice relaxed week at home.  We had a nice visit from Auntie Josée who got to cuddle all three of the boys and another nice visit from Auntie Sarah but since she has her own little boy to cuddle at home, the boys were already asleep when she came over (thanks for the cookies!!).  Josée is having her baby shower next Sunday so we can help her prepare to welcome her little baby girl Dia into the world.  It should be a great afternoon to spend some time with the girls!  The weather had finally starting turning for the better so I was able to go out for some nice walks and get my boys some natural vitamin D.  We went for a walk on Tuesday with Matante Véro and Sébastien at Irishtown nature park.  I hadn't walked that trail in forever!  Aside from having to turn around due to flooding of the trail, it was an amazing walk!  Nothing better than breathing in the air of trees and nature.  There was soooooo much flooding in town this week, it was crazy.  Gabe, being a delivery driver, had to get creative in his routes this week!

That was Crowley Farm road this week... for those of you not from around here, there isn't supposed to be ANY water where you see water.  This sucked because that road was the main way to get to one of our main cross city roads... This is just one small examples of how bad the city was this week due to flooding.   

There was nothing too exciting this week as far as the babies are concerned... I mean, other than the fact that every day with them is exciting and different in its own way...  Jacob decided he no longer wanted to sleep on his stomach... or his back...  He learned to flip from stomach to back and seemed to like that game but he didn't want to sleep on his back so he'd wake up crying so that I'd flip him back over on his stomach and the vicious cycle would start over... and over... and over... When Thursday night finally came and I knew Gabe would be able to take over for the night to give me a night off, I was pretty happy.  I hadn't had a sleepless night since before the boys started sleeping through the night so this week was rough!  I know I'll probably have a few more rough nights this week as Jacob still hasn't figured out what he likes or how he wants to sleep.  He slept on his back all night last night so that was great but tonight, this doesn't seem to be a solution he likes.  I just keep hoping he'll learn to flip himself over on his stomach from his back then he'll be able to get into the position he likes best without Mommy or Daddy needing to get up five thousand times a night to flip him over to the position he just got himself out of... We even tried putting him on his side and that seemed to work... for an hour.  We even put a pool noodle under his crib sheet so that if he tried to roll over, he couldn't, but he just shimmies himself until he's on his back... a position HE DOESN'T LIKE!!  Baby brains confuse me!!  I'm just happy his brothers have been sleeping great on their back so I don't have to flip x 3 all night!  Poor little guy...  He's currently yelling his little lungs out and doing the running man in his crib because he's on his back... don't worry, Daddy's on the case.  He just put him on his side... we'll see how long that lasts... I wish I could just figure out what he wants but of course, I can't read his thoughts!  I think that's the worst part of this baby phase... just not knowing.  I can tell whose cry is whose, but I can't tell what they mean... I mean, I know the difference between a tired cry and a distress cry but I can't tell the distress cries apart... When you've changed, fed, played with and loved your baby and he's still crying his little eyes out, it's tough not knowing what he needs... Most of the time, people around me will say he's tired or he's got cramps (that's the most popular one) and of course, sometimes, especially with Zach, cramps are it but how do we know for sure??   The tell tale signs aren't always there...  Who knows, maybe sometimes their bum hurts or I stubbed their toe on something (we all know how much THAT hurts, I did it at least 3 times today... once even on my sister's toe... who does that and how does that happen?!?).  You just never know so you do the best you can.

We discovered this week that Zachary loves dancing.  My mother had him in her arms walking around and she just started dancing and his eyes lit up and he had the biggest smile I'd ever seen on him.  Zachary is my serious little dude so to hear him squeal (that's how we know he's really happy) and give a sort of giggle was seriously the best part of my week.  He especially loves to shake his booty!  I tell you, he gives us a workout because the moment you stop going up and down while shaking his bum, his serious face returns and he's pretty bummed out.

As for Samuel, there's not much new to report in his happy life... Unless it's five o'clock and he's into his fussy time, that kid is seriously the happiest kid on the block.  I can put him on his play mat under his mirror and he can stay there for hours playing with his toys, his hands, or just looking at himself and smiling all the while running a marathon.  It normally doesn't take much to get him to smile and he now loves to stand up (assisted of course) and having conversations with me.  Of course they consist of different types of grunts, but they're definitely conversations.  

The boys had their first Costco trip this week.  I was scared because I knew that it was going to be super packed with mostly older retired people (it was Thursday before the holiday weekend... people panic) and I knew that anywhere I go where there are a lot of people, we become a freak show... I was pleasantly surprised!  Although we WERE sort of freak show and we stopped to talk to many different people (mostly because we couldn't move due to Costco style traffic jams), most of the talks were positive ones.  I must have heard the sentence: "You certainly have your hands full." at least a dozen times or "You're brave" (as though I had chosen this...hehe) or even "God certainly blessed you didn't he?".  One guy said "I have three as well but I had mine all at different times so I don't know how you do it..." and I told him that I'd rather have them all at once so that every baby milestone is done and over with all at the same time.  Gabe and I were having supper at the Pump House on Saturday (thanks to my parents in law who love to babysit and give us afternoons/nights out to just be a couple) and we got to talking about how happy we were that we had all our children at the same time because we won't have to start over again.  We decided that due to our financial situation and how tough the first pregnancy was that we wouldn't/couldn't have any more babies so we won't get to go through the newborn phase again, and once we potty train the three (how FUN that'll be... I can't wait to write THAT post...), we won't have to go through it again.  Sure, parts of that also makes me sad because I absolutely loved the feel of my naked babies sleeping on my naked chest knowing that I was helping them breathe.  I loved the fact that they could just lay there for hours and we would sleep together and I'd wake up and they'd still be on my chest dead asleep... I miss those days and it makes me sad that I can't get back to it... or that I won't get to do it again, with a little girl maybe??  I'll just have to cuddle with other people's newborns... There are at least three little girls that will be born this year that I'll get to cuddle. :)   There are always two sides to every coin so I can't say for sure that having them all at the same time is the best thing as there are advantages and disadvantages to both situations.  My mother always taught me to try to look for the silver lining in every situation and I've certainly taken her advice when it came to dealing with the realization that I would have three human being to raise at the same time.  

We had a family filled day today for Easter.  My parents had set up an Easter egg hung for my nieces and had hidden three eggs for the boys so we had them "hunt" as well... haha... It'll be much more fun next year!  Hopefully they'll all be walking by then and understand a bit about what's happening when it comes to hunting for eggs :).  My in-laws came over to help for the night feed (and brought us supper!!) and brought the boys their 1st Easter Easter presents.  Gabe and I got chocolate which makes this girl a happy girl.  I remember when my sister and I were young, we always wanted the crunchy kind of bunny and we always got the super solid one from our Mémères (it was the cheapest one... when you have like twenty plus grand children, you go for cheap!!) so we'd always melt the chocolate, add Rice Crispies to the melted chocolate, put it back in the mold (if it had one, otherwise, we'd just leave it in the cups) and we'd freeze it.  We had our crunchy chocolate after all!  I'm looking forward to doing all those kinds of things with the boys.  As much as I want their lives to go as slow as possible so that I get to be with them as long as possible, I'm excited for all the things they'll get to enjoy... like Easter egg hunting and melting chocolate and all those fun things!  Looking at all the fun Easter times on Facebook makes me excited for what's to come!

Here are some pics of the week:

Hanging out on the deck after a nice walk... Samuel, of course, with his tongue ALWAYS out!  

Just hanging out on the chair Mommy

This was mere minutes after my mother left... the only way they would stop crying is if I had both of them in my arms and bopped up and down... This girl can't do that for longer than five minutes so after I took a picture to send to Daddy with a text that said "I don't know what to do anymore", I put Zachary in a swing and let him figure it out (it only took him 5 minutes to fall asleep) and rocked little Jacob.  

This was my poor attempt at trying to catch Samuel in action.... he LOVES to lick us! 

I can't sit pretty good in this Mommy but I'm not too sure I like it... 

They are starting to notice each other more and more... it's pretty darn cute!  

Do we think Zach was tired?

or Jacob?

Samuel rocking the thumb suck

My little monkey with his little monkey

Here is my Jacob doing his favorite thing... watching TV!  I try to not have it on too much because he'll hurt his neck just trying to look at the damn thing!  

A sour looking Sam... this doesn't happen too often!

Zachary... my ever serious little guy... but when he smiles, he does so with his whole entire being...

Superman!!!!!!!

Zachary's ABS OF STEEL!!

After their Easter egg "hunt"... notice their singular egg!  Good job boys!  (or me...and Cindy...and Mamie)

This is where the boys hung out while we had our Easter brunch :) 

Jacob was NOT loving this photo shoot... and what's with the random egg between Zach's legs?  Who knows.... Believe it or not, this was the best pic I got... Happy 5 months boys!! 

Zachary rocking his 1st Easter bib from Mémère & Pépère Arsenault

He slept all the way through his feeding tonight and then woke up screeching as soon as he touched his crib mattress... go figure!  

Just take my picture and let me go to sleep please Mommy... 

Just in case you're curious... Jacob has been sleeping on his side, his back resting on the pool noodle, since Gabe went in to see him earlier... I wonder what time he'll wake up and realize he hates this??  

As always my friends... 

and

HAPPY EASTER!!!! xoxox