A thank you letter...

I read a blog earlier this week about a mom who was grateful for having three boys.  Often, us "only boys" mothers are asked: "Are you going to try for a girl now?" or "Are you sad you didn't get a girl?" and my answer to both of those is no.  I am most definitely not trying for another girl, let alone another baby and I am not sad that I didn't get a girl because then that means that I wouldn't have one of the boys.  I have nieces and I am grateful that I have them in life as I'll get to experience (hopefully they'll let me) their prom dress shopping and their wedding dress shopping but I won't have to pay for any of it... lol!  That all led me to thinking about the possibility of not having had the boys and every decision that led me to this point in my life.  I've decided to write a kind of thank you letter to some of you who led me to this point in my life... I will only name people (except for my mother) by first letter, in case they read this and didn't want to be named...

Thank you mom for deciding to have a second child... this led to my birth.

Thank you mom for having the courage to leave a marriage that just wasn't working anymore... this led to my moving to Moncton (and another bonus, that move took me away from my bullies!).

Thank you L for bringing the air cadets into my life... this brought out my confidence and my leadership skills which ultimately brought me to my career as a teacher.

Thank you NBCC teachers for being sexist and not allowing me to finish my computer engineering technology course... this brought me to meet awesome people at my call center jobs and to continue teaching my outdoor survival course for a few more years. 

Thank you mom for telling me to get my life together after my third year at a call center and being at my heaviest weight possible... this led me to going to St-Mary's University.

Thank you, housing and residence officer at SMU, for putting me on the same floor as A & D.... this led me to the best four years of university I could have asked for and led me to meet lifelong friends (you all know who you are... especially you A, I love you for always).  

Thank you N for going to Australia... this led me to the realization that we weren't meant to be.

Thank you Randy 1, 2, and 3 for not being "the ones" at university... this led me back to Moncton to start my education degree. 

Thank you R for breaking my heart... this led me to realize what was truly important in a relationship.

Thank you, D at RHS, for accepting me into your family... this led me to finding my book club ladies without whom I would be lost. 

Thank you P & F for being arseholes... this led me to find Gabriel, my true partner, my husband.

Thank you, Gabriel, for turning down a chance to work in Africa because he was scared he wouldn't like the food and for turning down the job in Montreal because they wouldn't pay him.

Thank you J & K for cheating on him (bitches)... this led him to me

Thank you, large corporation, for firing him and making him happier in the long run because had he still been working for you when we met, I would have never stuck around.  

Thank you husband for putting up with my BS in the beginning and letting me come back to you... this led me to our babies...

Thank you, all you little eggs that never turned into babies... this led us to Conceptia

Thank you, ovaries, for producing three perfect nests for my three perfect babies... this led me to meeting the three best little people in my life.

There are many other things/events that happened to lead me here but then I'd be writing my memoir and not a blog...

All these decisions made it so that I met my three boys and I can't even begin to imagine not ever having met them. I know sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking becoming a mother but so glad I did! Zachary, my little man with the double personality of a cat.  He can go from happy and cuddly to clawing at my face and biting me due to anger.  Samuel, who, most of the time, is the most easy going happy kid around but then he also hates to share and will be the first one to cry if we scold him for hurting someone.  Jacob, my little monkey, my little clown, loves life to the fullest but also has a very sensitive side.  I know that if I had had another baby, a girl even, I would have loved them as much as I love the boys and I sometimes wonder what another one of our babies would look like and it makes me yearn for just one more but it's not meant to be.  I am so very glad for all the twists and turns in my life, even the bad ones, they ensured I had my boys and how lucky am I?  So thank you, all of you, for being a part of the next part in my journey.

Back to reality... life is still as busy as it's ever been.  The boys are getting busier and they are harder to entertain at home so we always make sure we get out of the house by 9am on the weekends and do something to keep them busy.  We've started going to the market on Saturday mornings which has been interesting and we now have our routine groceries and Costco trip on Sunday mornings.  My mom is back in town so now the weekends have started incorporating visits there.  This weekend my step-brother, his girlfriend and their 11 month old son Arthur were around so we did a lot of visiting with them.  Arthur is just the cutest little baby and the boys just run circles around him.  My brother is 6 foot 2 and his son sure took after him... He's 6 months younger than the boys and he's wearing bigger clothes that they are!

They are going to see their final specialist this week: a speech-language therapist.  I'm not foreseeing any major problems as they are saying quite a few words.  We've been keeping track because of course, they're going to become mutes as soon as we sit them down in front of the therapists.  Just like Zachary didn't want to walk when we went to see the physiotherapist about his braces (he eventually did and NO MORE BRACES!!!).  Anyways, hopefully this will be the last of the therapists for a while.  I really do believe the boys have completely caught up to their real age and shouldn't have any long term issues.  The last test will be school I guess...

My sister had a rough few days following her first round of chemo but is finally starting to feel like herself again.  She was saying that nothing tasted right and yesterday morning she had her first drink of tea that tasted like tea.  Stupid chemicals... but thankful for them still for keeping her healthy in the long run... love you sis!

Here are some more adorable pics!

The boys are finally tall enough to sit at the table with us!  Also, they were rocking their chairs so much they would have eventually tipped forward so it was just time...

At the Dieppe market enjoying a molasses cookie

Hanging out with mémére and pépère

Samuel and his 6 month younger cousin Arthur

One of these things is not like the others... 

Pépère playing with Jacob

My sons, like all men, prefer to be partially or fully naked.  This one has no shirt... 

This one has no pants... 

We are finally able to read to them... well sort of read but it's a step! 

We had to re-arrange the seating arrangement because the ones sitting next to one another kept stealing food from one another and it never ended well. 

He LOVES the camera... look at the hand... lol

Hi Sam! 

Hi Zachary! 

Playing with their news shoes (we went to buy the next size up  of the ones they had as we're having a hard time finding cute shoes at a reasonable price)

Jacob trying to put them on

I'm going to make them into cleaning machines eventually... last week brooms, this week dusters!  

Have a good week y'all!  Make every decision count! 

xx MC

This is what I know...

This is what I know... I know that one day I will look back on these times and wonder where my babies went and why they don't want to spend time with me anymore.  Sometimes, I urge them to be independent and roll my eyes when they want to jump on my lap for the 100th time that day.  Those are the times I tell myself to stop rolling my eyes and welcome them with a smile for the 100th time and then the 1000th.  Zachary never cuddles unless he's sick or he needs a quick "you're going to be ok" hug.  Samuel loves to hang out on us... until he doesn't and Jacob never stays long either.  I'm pretty sure that in between year 2 and 10, the cuddles will come back with a vengeance and I know I'll love cuddling on the couch with my boys during a Sunday afternoon movie or Saturday morning cartoons, I'm so looking forward to those days.  Although when those days come, that'll mean these days will be over.  These days when the boys are discovering everything.  Their comprehension is growing day by day and watching them finally be able to communicate something to us (with words or signs) or understanding something is a wonderful thing to be a witness to.  I will forget most of the things I live with them everyday so I have to check myself once in a while to remind myself that every day with them is precious.  This hit me hard when my sister announced she had breast cancer.  It made me realize that life is too often taken for granted and they could lose me or I could lose them (God forbid) at any moment.  I lost my father when I was twelve and not a day goes by I don't wish he was here with us, to be able to see what wonderful grand-children he has.  I'm sad every time I think that my boys (and my nieces) won't ever get to know the wonderful, funny, kind hearted man their grandfather was.  Even when they're being little hellions, I try to breathe and not lose my temper (it doesn't always work but I try) because I know all those moments are important.  I know that one day they'll have to look after me, it'll be their turn, and they'll want to roll their eyes when I'm being demanding and they'll try to not lose their temper when I'm being unreasonable but if I get to that point, I'll be glad to know I lived a full life with my boys in my life and even if I exasperate them, I'll know they still love me because I was able to love them fully.  I also know that we're going to live through rough time as everyone has a story so my three boys will have to live theirs but I hope will all my heart that I am there to witness it,  It also won't always be lollipops, rainbows and unicorns, they'll see me angry when I have to give them tough love, they'll see me disappointed when they inevitably do something stupid or against our beliefs (I teach teenage boys... I see stupidity on a daily basis...haha), they'll see me scared when I think I may lose them, they'll see me cry... when I watch a commercial or something... lol... I'm just a crier, so they'll get use to that quickly.  They'll see their dad and I be upset with each other because let's face it, marriage is HARD especially when you're new parents trying to adjust but they'll always know they're loved and that's what I hope they remember.

I also know that in a year's time, we'll look back at this nightmare my sister is living through and go phew! Thank God THAT's over!  For those of you kind enough to wonder, my sister had her first round of chemotherapy this week and thanks be to the drug lords, she's feeling better than we expected her to feel.  Aside from being tired and feeling weak, she's doing really good.  We are all grateful through our grief, knowing that although she was pumped full of poison, the advancement in medicine through research has been able to provide her with top notch drugs to her help fight the fight.  So thank you for your continuous support for her and for the cause.  She was saying that the treatment room was so sad as there were people in there truly battling for their lives.  I hope they have some good drugs too...  One treatment down, three to go!  You got this sis!  I love you sooooooo much...

Here's something else I know, you like the pictures as much as my stories, if not more... so here they are!

My niece Gabrielle getting some black streaks in her hair to honor her mom's hair. 

Same here with my niece Alexie

Here's my contribution.  You can't really see it, bu it's there :) 

The boys were trying to send a good luck message to my sister but they still don't listen when I say "Hold the paper properly in front of you and in the middle please"... urgh! lol

Samuel going right for the hockey stick at daycare... I don't know if we'll be able to keep him away! 

The boys' new kicks!  I love them!! 

Playing on the front deck, breaking in our new shoes! 

"Helping" mom fold laundry

We brought this tunnel out of hiding as they had no clue what to do with it before but they love it now! 

I hope they can't fall through! 

This concerns me a bit... but how cute is he?

BUBBLES!!!

Those chocolate brown eye make me melt... 

Hi Maman, give me the camera please

A little too many bubbles on the head

Watching some Baby Babbles with Papa.  This lasted about 3 minutes... we'll never cuddle down for a movie at THAT rate!

After their buzz cut, we were trying to blow off the hair, Jacob loved the hair dryer

Zachary was touch and go

The "Let's eat Cheerios on the floor" game doesn't work too well when they're wearing running shoes... it turned more into "Let's crunch all the Cheerios with our feet and try to eat the crumbs" game... 

First time eating corn on the cob.  Zachary LOVED it! He devoured the whole thing!

Jacob wasn't a fan

Samuel wanted none of it at the beginning but he quickly got the hang of it

Have a great week y'all!