A year ago today was probably the second scariest day of my life (the first being the day I gave birth). It was the day we brought the boys home from the hospital. No more monitors reassuring me that their heart was still beating and that their lungs were doing their job. I was no longer surrounded by 10+ professionals at all times who could answer my every question. We were on our own with three premature one month old who technically should still have been in my belly for another month so I still wasn't certain they were going to be OK out of the hospital. I mean, I had been dreaming about and dreading this day for a while but nothing prepared me for the emotions that overwhelmed me when we put them in the van heading for home. I knew that we were nervous because we noticed that we had left the van's hatch opened when we were leaving the parking lot of the hospital. Poor babies must have been quite cold!
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| Our first day home... they were still so tiny! |
I'm so glad we had all the support we had from the beginning because I don't know how we would have made it. The one advantage we had over parents who bring their baby (ies) home right from the hospital was that we were going home on a four hour schedule already and the babies were used to that routine. We had also been surrounded by professionals for a month helping us learn to bathe, feed and soothe our children and know how to recognize their different cries and what may be wrong with them. I knew what temperature was normal for each of my children as I had been taking it everyday for three weeks, I knew how much they peed, pooped (and what color it was) and what a normal feeding day looked like. As annoying as it was to have been confined in that place for a month, we were also so lucky to have been so prepared for home coming. So yes, the first day home was very scary but we very quickly established a routine that worked for us and finally, we had our family home with us. I am so happy that we established a routine from day one and we have been really strict about it. That's what works for us. My children wake up anywhere from 7 am to 7:15, everyday. Yes, I wake them up (CRAZY RIGHT?) but no, that's what makes most of my days work for me. They also go to sleep between 6:45pm and 7:15pm every night, no exception. Not a wedding, not a birthday party, nor Christmas changes that. I don't believe in baby led parenting, maybe I would have had I had a singleton, but with my boys, routine and procedures (just as I do with my students in my classroom) is what works and you know what? I have, 90% of the time, really really good babies. We still have our challenges, and always will as every parent does, nobody is a perfect parent and nobody has a perfect child, but I think our boys are the best they can be. A friend of mine made a post of "a day in a life" on Facebook and it was so great to read. Most of the time, all we see on Facebook are lollipops and gumdrops life stories of babies but it's not always coming up roses and her post was a perfect example of what true life with babies is like. I wish I would have been able to get her permission to copy said post as I laughed, nodded and said "amen sister" a few times reading it. It was basically about how staying home all day with one, two or three babies (or toddlers) is quite a chore.
**UPDATE** SHE'S LETTING ME SHOW IT :)
FB seems to have turned into the new "keeping up with the Jones'" especially for moms. It is a deceptive and often judgmental form of skewed reality of who can do it better, and snippets of joyful moments. It is not often we see the reality of day to day life of raising children, which personally, makes me feel inadequate and like I'm failing my kids or family because we often have messes and tantrums and screaming etc in our household, and my reality doesn't look like what i think i see. So, for the benefit of the other moms on my thread, here is a synopsis of yesterday:
6AM wake up - girls screaming over who will pee first in the big potty that ends in a 3 year old fist fight, wakes the baby who nursed every 3 hours#notbad.
Later in the day, I'm working hard at upholding the 1950's standard of motherhood and "houswiving", and have the pork sirloin sufficiently seasoned and in the slow cooker #ivegotthis, when the baby needs to be changed and then fed. I proceed to go upstairs with the babe after setting up 3 activities for the girls to do while I'm gone for 5 minutes, and to also uphold the 21st century of parenting to stimulate, educate, and positively parent my children rather than ignore them to cook and do housework or leave them in a playpen like our predecessors #proactivemommy. One of these activities includes play dough (homemade of course, non toxic, all organic and perfectly granola and hipster approved). I change the baby who has projectile poop that hits the wall.... And I'm out of cloth diapers again (washing machine takes 3 hours for a regular load, and 7 for the diapers.... Failing again here because I didn't wash them by hand..l have no laundry sink so I guess I would have to wash them in the kitchen sink next to the pork loin.... And I guess since I'm using running water, electricity, and I didn't hunt, slaughter, clean and butcher the pig myself that I suck at that too...). I come downstairs after cleaning the wall to find Twin B taking her pants off. She tells me she has pooped. Indeed there is poop in her pants. I take her to the bathroom while twin A continues to play at the table with her play dough. Twin B tells me she has poop on her hands, upon inspection there is poop on her hands, and all through the play dough she was playing with, and, (oh god no), eating! There is poop on her legs too. I go back to the kitchen to get paper towel to clean her up, and I find Twin A "cleaning" two large lumps of poop that fell on the floor out of twin b's pants. I quickly clean that up (luckily I have my organic essential grapefruit oil cleaner already prepared and sitting on the counter#hastobeallnatural). I go back to the bathroom and realize this calls for a mid-day bath (#babystillneedstobefed, #babycrying). I take twin b upstairs to the bath, quickly wash her up and get her clean cloths and pee myself (#closecall). I come down, #babyscreaming, to find twin a has discovered another lump of poop and is cleaning it with the q-tips from my bathroom....OMG seriously. OMG my bedroom door is open! Run up with twin a to clean her up and find twin b is opening the Christmas presents that were hidden under my bed (she had to work to get to them#persistentandsmart, ugh). Remove twin b from room, clean twin a, come down to an undecorated Christmas tree. Baby is still crying. Ok,#dealwiththatlater. Pick baby up to begin nursing after putting raffi on and providing a coloring tracing activity with the letters P and S. (using an iPod and not singing the songs exclusively myself.... Parenting fail number 104). Baby is nursing, it is about 1:40 and I haven't showered and only peed once, not yet eaten anything #Ijustwanttobrushmyteeth. Kids are quiet, maybe I can sneak to the bathroom? I'll quickly check on them since quiet is usually trouble. I find twin a with the floor grate pulled out of the vent and twin b trying to pee in the vent (FML, #whybother). I correct that behavior as patiently as I can #spankingisagainstthelaw, #itsnolonger1976. I tidy the disaster that is my house as best I can and run to the washroom to brush my teeth. I come down to no apparent disaster or injury (phewf), plop on the sofa to start folding everyone else's laundry. The cat runs by being chased by the girls. The cat is covered in stickers, daddy cones home "smells good in here, is it ready?". Yup, that is reality. #twinproblems,#threeunderthree. This rant (now over), is not meant to garner commentary but rather, serve as a literal account of real life with small children, parenting under the overwhelming pressure of today's society. moms stop judging other moms. What ever your choices are best for your family and your sanity, good on you for owing that.#ittook6hourstowritethis.
Most of the time, I try to wake up and tell myself : "Today is going to be a good day" and quite often, it ends up being a really good day but then there are those days when it starts with spilled milk, banged up toe, burnt tongue from hot tea and hand in spit up from the night before all before the babies get up. And you know those days when it starts bad it seems like everything else just doesn't go your way... those days are the worst so those are the days when the TV is my best friend. Most of the time, I have the TV on a music channel unless I leave the babies alone in the living room so I can make lunch and Mikey Mouse Clubhouse at 3:30, but those god awful days, TV is on quite a lot. What sucks right now is how cold it is outside and how much time and energy it takes me to get the babies ready to go out. By the time we're out and about, we have a half hour to do something before it's time to head back for lunch or a nap and I hate them sleeping in the van because it messes up their home naps. So we're pretty cabin fevered... At least I'm only alone for 2 1/2 days this week and then CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES!!!! That's exciting!!!
So to those of you are curious as to what my new business venture is... it's.... JAMBERRY NAILS!! Check it out if you've never heard of it:
Jamberry Nails. I'll sign up officially in January and I'll be throwing a Facebook Party as my launch so if you're interested, just let me know and I'll make sure to invite you to my launch party :)
Here are some pictures of the week:
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| So I bought these suction bowls to start teaching the boys how to eat out of bowls... they didn't suction very well so I'm glad I started with crackers! |
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| Jacob loves picking things up now, he thinks he's so strong... he even grunts when he picks up stuff sometimes... too cute! |
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| Zachary in one of his happy moments |
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| Hi Sam |
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| Sam has started sharing. This is him trying to give me a golf ball only to ask for it back 2 seconds later. He's even sharing his super yummy half chewed food! |
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| Zachary is so handsome when he smiles! |
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| Zachary trying to see what's under the changing table. |
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| So they're starting to climb |
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| And using anything they can to accomplish it... today Jacob used Samuel's back to get on the couch. Teamwork? |
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| They also love shutting the door on one another. I'm always on the watch for smooshed fingers! |
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| This was "one of those TV days" this week. I'm glad they love Baby Babble. |
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| They still take a walk with Pépére most nights. Here's Jacob all bundled up and ready to go (with his soother of course) |
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| Umm... I don't think that tuque fits you buddy... |
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| You're cute though! |
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| The boys were loving my news Jamberry Nails. They were pretty and shiny. |
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| Zachary just wanted to eat them |
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| Jacob enjoying his new passion of emptying every box he can. |
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| They also love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse :) |
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| We bought a griddle and I was able to make all my boys breakfast at the same time this morning! I'm sure it'll come in handy in the future with my growing boys! |
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| My roomie from university came for a visit today as he was home for the holidays. It was the first time he met the boys, it's awesome to still see old friends even when our lives have taken such turns. |
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| Thanks for your visit Uncle Dave (and your awesome gift! The boys love it!) |
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| He and his mom Denise even brought me a gift!! I would eat them all!! Don't they look lovely in my new Xmas dish?(another gift from them) |
Well guys, I want to take this moment to wish you and yours a very merry Christmas and I hope you stay safe during this holiday season! Enjoy your loved ones (even the annoying ones) and of course, make sure you live every moment fully, laugh your arse off and give lots of love.... I know this Christmas for us will be much more relaxed and enjoyable as I don't even remember last year... lol
Here are some of the pics we took for the boys' Christmas card. The only way we could get them to cooperate was with cookies... lots of cookies! lol
xx MC
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