The thing is, you're not alone. You're not the only one who wishes once in a while your world would return to what is used to be. Pre-children, pre-husband, pre-everything that is now your life. It would be nice to wake up in the morning with no responsibilities awaiting you knowing that you can get up whenever you want, IF even you want, lounge around for a while, watch TV, read a book and then go outside to have a drink in the sun in the afternoon and finish your book. I remember a summer where I lived with my sister and my brother in law and I had a waitressing/bartending job at McGinnis Landing and only worked nights so I'd spend my days in their hammock and/or pool reading book after book after book... I think I must have finished 20 books that summer. Now I'm lucky if I finish one book for my book club meeting once a month. I often miss the liberty of being childless and single but then I also remember how I used to long for this life, this life that is filled with love, laughter and SO MUCH life. Yes, it's also filled with snot, poop, no's, frustration and tears (from both my children and me). Although I sometimes miss being free to do whatever I want whenever I want, I don't mourn my old life where I used to cry myself to sleep I wanted love and children so much in my life. I know I'm not alone in this and I just wanted to reassure you that YOU are not alone. It's ok to feel trapped at times and feel like you'd just like to fly away with a magical umbrella like Mary Poppins (I saw a meme today about that and I was like... yeah, sometimes I wish I could). This is, however, the life I have, the life I love and the life I'll mourn in its turn once the kids are grown and gone...
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| I feel you Poppins... I really do... lol |
You are also not alone when you feel like the world is judging you. You are not alone when you think you're a bad mom just because your kids don't eat veggies for lunch AND dinner EVERY SINGLE DAY (seriously... really?). You think you're the only one who has given your kids some cereal for supper because you just couldn't make yourself make a whole dinner you know they probably wouldn't eat? I didn't want to make lunch today so I called what I made "a picnic" but it was just me throwing a bunch of food at them hoping they'd eat enough to satisfy me that they wouldn't starve. There are perhaps 3% of the population around us who feed their children nothing but wholesome organic food, if you don't, then you're part of the majority. I picked up my children at daycare the other day and Jacob had pooped his pants. I didn't want to change him at daycare so I left him in his poopy diaper all the way home. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has left a poopy diaper on longer than necessary. Yesterday, it was raining, and Gabe and I were lost as to what to do with the boys as we are normally out of the house by 8:30 am and out and about searching for an outdoor activity to do with the boys. We don't have a tickle trunk of toddler activities at the ready. We don't have a certain percentage of play time devoted to developing motor skills and another percentage devoted to communication skills and yet another developing physical skills... we normally just watch them run around and hope they stay happy and every once in a while, let them use our bodies as a playground as we lay on the floor on our backs and let them step all over us. They love it and we get to lay down... really it's a win win. We had to use our brains and come up with activities that we thought they might like. Well, finger paint was not the way to go because the moment I put red paint on Zachary's tray, he thought it was ketchup and in his mouth it went. When I told him that paint was not food, he got really upset. What was I thinking anyway? I sat him in a chair where he eats two of his three meals a day and put red sauce in front of him where I sometimes give him ketchup and then yelled at him for eating it! Poor kid! Oh yes, I give ketchup to my children to get them to eat the meal I make (see, you're not the only one). I was reading a website about learning by playing earlier today and it was saying that toddlers shouldn't have more than 1 hour of inactivity at a time. Who has toddlers who are inactive for more than 5 minutes at any given time? Quiet reading activity time? HA! I laugh in the face of those who tell me how important reading is. You don't think I know that? These people have never tried reading to a triplet whose brothers don't allow one on one mommy or daddy time. Oh, and a CLEAN house? I very often would have time to scrub my tub or my floors and I just don't do it. You know what I do, I sit my arse on the couch and I watch an episode of Game of Thrones or I play Candy Crush Saga. My house hasn't been super clean since my mom used to live with me. My house isn't disgusting, I pick up around the house and to the infrequent visitor, it just looks lived in but I sometimes sit and look around and wonder why I can't just find it in me to WANT to have a clean house, I just don't care that much... As I sit here typing this up on my living room couch, I see streaks of snot from my children's noses on my cushion beside me, I see their little little hand prints in my windows, I see their toys not anywhere near to being organized or neatly put away, they're just all shoved in the toy corner, I see their discarded sweaters on the arm on my couch, I see a lonely water sippy cup on my coffee table and another on my entry cube shelf. I see their butt wipe containers open and drying out the top wipe and I'll curse tomorrow morning wondering why I didn't just shut the damn top, I see butt cream on the changing table waiting for a possible red bum tomorrow morning, I see my grocery bags that weren't cleanly put away after we put the groceries away... and this is just my living room. And you know what, only half of that stuff will be set right before I go to bed tonight. So see? Look around, you're not alone. Maybe I am alone in this one though... I feel like when I speak to my friends, their house always seems to be taken care of way better than mine but maybe they care more. I'm just hoping that my Jamberry business takes off so that I can afford to hire someone who'll take care of the big stuff I just can't bring myself to do on a weekly basis. Don't worry, most of the real germy places are clean, I'm not a slob, just not a clean freak... lol
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| My living room at the moment |
It was a busy week for me, between my walking club and my two Jamberry parties, it's a wonder my husband remembers I'm his wife! It should be a little less crazy this week. It was my last week of teaching and now I have to focus on my final exam which means extra help to help students who think they can learn a full semester's course in two hours and others hoping for a last ditch effort, creating an answer key, administering it and then marking 78 copies of it! It'll be a busy week and I'll miss my students but at least it'll be a different busy.
Cute things that happened this week... Yesterday Samuel was sitting on the floor just chillin' and Zachary went up to him, grabbed him underneath his arms, brought him up on his feet and they just stood there and hugged for like 5 seconds... I wish I would have caught that on tape but it's in my mind... too adorable for words. Jacob and Samuel have started pretending to flex. Jacob prefers the under flex and Samuel prefers the over the shoulder flex. Their little faces get super red and they're grunting and everything! They are getting really good at listening to directions. Jacob helped me put laundry away today (well socks and pj's). He did empty half the basket after but at least most of the socks and pj's were put away! Zachary throws stuff out in the garbage. He also likes to take stuff OUT of the garbage so that's no fun, but whatever. We were told at their speech and language appointment that we needed to work on was them listening to simple instructions and we've been working hard on that. Jacob is really good at bringing things to us or his brothers when we ask him. Samuel doesn't like to give anything to anyone if he's using it (he's become very possessive of everything) but he still will once in a while.
Anyways, while we're talking about cute, here are some cute pictures:
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