In whose world does this happen?? Do any of you, my readers, have this philosophy? I'd like to sit down with you and ask you how it all works. Also, I'd like to see the studies of those kids who never heard no in their lives. What do they do when someone in their world tells them no? Ask them to repeat what they mean in a positive way? What about a superior at work? Maybe I'm a skeptic but I'm pretty sure I won't change because that cursed word just comes out of my mouth probably about 50 times.
Here are the examples of the times we said NO/DON'T to our kids lately :
- Samuel, don't put your finger in your butthole, there's poop in there
- Samuel, leave your brother alone when he poops, don't get in his space
- No Zachary, you can't come to our bed at 2AM
- No Jacob, dinosaurs won't come eat you
- Stop splashing all the water out of the bathtub
- Don't hit me in the face
- Don't punch your grandfather
- Stop slapping your Mamie
- Don't touch my pink eyes
- Don't eat that, don't eat that, DON'T EAT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Don't eat the Play-Doh
- Don't put your brother's penis in your mouth
- Don't play with your penis when you're peeing
- No, you can't pee when your penis is like that
- Don't hit your brother with the drill
- Don't hit your brother with the dinosaur
- Don't hit your brother with the monster truck
- Don't throw the remote
- Don't make punching moves when you're angry
- Don't get out of your bed
- Stop kicking your brother's bed
- Stop signing, your brothers are trying to sleep
- Stop taking the ornaments off my newly decorated tree
- Don't take off all your clothes again
- Don't have a pee contest on your bedroom floor again
- Don't grab those scissors, they're dangerous
- I could go on...
Of COURSE if I wrote a book about the power of positivity when raising children, I could very easily write a positive sentence for each of the don'ts and nos up there but I'm NOT writing a book. I'm trying to raise my children the best that I can. I try really hard to stay positive. I know very well that I could say "Your poophole is for poo, not for fingers Sam!" or "Dear sweetheart, Mommy would very much like for you to keep the ornaments on the tree, it makes it look very pretty!" but sometimes words just come out of my mouth and that's that. If you're around me long enough, you'll notice that I balance it all really well. I DO say "we only throw balls" (until I say, DON'T THROW THAT GOLF BALL!!!". I also often say "We only play with our penis alone in our bedroom!" or I'll say "Teeth are for eating, not biting" but I have to tell you, it's exhausting!! I HAVE noticed lately since I started taking a mindfulness course that I try to ask them things nicely repeatedly before I start getting angry and it's been working 3 times out of 5 so that's probably a practice I will continue doing. Man, this parenting thing is hard business! I was talking to KP today and she was saying that she gave in to her son's urgent demand for more TV this morning. She also sent us a few messages this morning on the way to the play date about some of the things that she considered made her a great candidate for "Mother of the Year" in the most sarcastic tone possible. It makes me so sad that we try to live by this unattainable standards of parenting due to the multiple articles we read on social media. When did raising our kids become a social media event. Isn't the most important thing is love? As a teacher, I can tell you that 99% of my students who are loved by their parents are succeeding at life. 99% of those who struggle are the ones who grew up with a crap life with little to no love from their families. So yes, the single most important thing to do when you're raising your kids is to just freaking love them. Yes, I say NO, DON'T, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY SAMUEL JACOB OR ZACHARY IF YOU MAKE ME COME IN THERE I WILL CLOSE THIS DOOR AND TURN OFF THAT LIGHT AND DON'T THINK I WON'T but I also love them with a fierceness I don't even understand. The smell of them alone makes my heart explode. Watching them play and hearing them laugh is one of my greatest joys. Knowing how much they love ME despite all the times I get angry tells me I'm not doing so bad after all. So mothers, STOP letting social media dictate how you are as a mother. LOVE your kids. If you can love them enough to say no every once in a while, I think you're ok.
Oh, I had a HORRIBLE case of pink eye all week... I missed ALL WEEK AT WORK!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!? How does that happen???????? So annoyed! I hate missing work because I have no idea of the mess that awaits me on my return... The students forget how to behave after ONE day of me being gone but a week?!? Aye aye aye!!!
Here are some pics of the week:
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| The boys helping Mémére and I put up my Christmas tree |
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| Having fun with Mamie! |
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| SMILE! |
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| My finished tree, I'm so proud of it!! |
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| Zachary loving his TV |
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| Started with just one eye then BAM... the other eye didn't even know what hit it! It took TWO trips to the clinic, FINALLY found the meds that my eyes would accept and within two days I started feeling better but... |
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It got my husband (thankfully not as bad) AND both my nieces!!! SO ANNOYING!
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That's all folks!!! Have a good week and remember : As long as you LOVE them fiercely, your children will be fine!
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