Tripletville Adventures : Things I've learned → Year 2

I remembered writing a blog post last year about 20 things I had learned in the boys' first year and I wanted to take a minute to look back on those things, to see if they're still true for the 2nd year and maybe even add a few things... here goes:

Being a mom is intense. → Yep, still intense

It's hard, it's really freakin' hard. → Yep, still freaking hard but I do have to say that parts of it are getting easier. There are actually times when I get to sit down and be at one with my thoughts while the boys play nicely. This isn't something that happens on a regular basis but more and more. It's still really hard because as a first time mom there are still often times when I go WTF dude? But I'll say that I find it a little (a very little) easier than year 1.

Being a mom is amazing. It's rewarding and the love you feel is sometimes overwhelming. Having your child reach for you is one of the best feelings I've ever felt. → Still very much true. Now that they can actually call me Maman and run to me when they see me... that is a feeling that only a mom would know. It's that unconditional love you're never going to get from someone who isn't your child. It's also very tough when they choose the other parent, it's like they're ripping your heart out and making you feel like you've let them down. The kids are going through a Papa stage and I'm over here like "Don't you know who stayed home with you for a whole year? Don't you know who carried you in her belly? I am NOT chop liver! But this can also due to the fact that I need constant reassurance of their love for me and those are my issues, not theirs... lol

Seeing them smile makes my heart so happy and seeing them cry often breaks my heart. → Yes, still very true. I just want to take them in my arms and squeeze them with all my love.

I had to be tough at times and let them cry when I knew that it would benefit them in the end. It has. → Yes, it's been good to us... until lately they've been sleeping angels. Jacob now has decided that sleeping at home is for chumps even though he sleeps like a log at daycare. We've had to re-start the sleep training with him.

Sleep training is the bomb diggity. 99% of the time, I put my boys down at night and I don't hear a peep. → As I was saying... Jacob has regressed and has fallen into the dreaded two year old sleep regression phase. Yet, he's the first one asleep at daycare and sleeps for two hours... at home, it's a different ball game. Yesterday I tried everything I could to try to prevent him from having to cry for an hour. I sat by his bedroom door, I put him in a playpen in our room and laid down in my bed so he could see me, finally I rocked him to sleep on me where he slept for 30 mins... I mean, I loved having him sleep in my arms as they hardly ever want to cuddle but my little ball of energy NEEDS sleep or he becomes a little devil on two legs! Today we decided that sleep training (CIO) was the way to go. We put him alone in the playpen in our room with music and the fan so he wouldn't disturb his brothers. Well he cried for an hour and finally fell asleep and slept for almost two hours! Hallelujah! Well you'd think so right?!? Samuel was so upset by Jacob's crying in a room where he couldn't see him that he cried right along with him and didn't sleep a wink. Even after Jacob finally feel asleep, Samuel and Zachary couldn't be consoled so we tried to get them to sleep to no avail and finally Gab took them for a drive. They didn't sleep in the car but at least had quiet time with their dodos driving around with their Papa. I desperately HATE nap time right now. It's such a stress and a big ball of WTFK what to do!! We'll figure it out eventually but getting there is really really trying.

I'm not super mom, raising my babies took a team. Sure, I'm alone at times but if it wasn't for husband, my family and friends who often gave me a break, I wouldn't have made it. → Still true! My in laws are still a huge part of the reason Gab and I are sane. They give us many breaks and allow us to have a social life. Two of the boys (one at a time) even had a sleepover at my mom's this fall. Two different Saturdays we dispersed the boys throughout the family and between my sister, my in laws and my mother, Gab and I were able to have a full day kid free. I even got away for a night getaway a few times. I'm still not super mom and there is still a team involved but without sounding corny, the best team is the one I have with Gab.

My husband, who is a great man, is an even GREATER dad. My children are lucky. I'm luckier to have his constant support with the boys. → Those boys have got him wrapped up around their itty bitty fingers. He'd give them anything they'd ask for just because they asked in their cute little toddlers voice. You can often see him dancing with one of two of the boys, laying down on the ground letting them stomp all over him or even reading them a story. He is a total hands on dad and although he has to be because it's always ALL HANDS ON DECK here, he would be even if he didn't have to be. The boys truly are lucky to have gotten him in the Dad lottery.

The hand outs, gifts, food and support I've gotten from my friends and even complete strangers were something I'll never take for granted. We were so blessed! Thank you. → I have to say that the triplet novelty has started to wear off and the handouts have lessened but we are completely ok with that because we have more than we need. We were so blessed during their first year that we are still pulling out clothes and toys that were given to us. There are still the occasional private messages on Facebook from friends who want to give us stuff and I've even had to say no a few times because we have so much stuff. We are actually going to be doing some minimalizing cleansing.

My Facebook triplet mommies were a godsend. → They still are. They're not as prevalent as they once were because I'm so busy being a working mother of three toddlers but I know that I can always count on them to help dig me out of a triplet hole. Thanks ladies xox

I'm ok with watching my children fall, it has helped them learn to get up. → It has very much helped them. They impress their physiotherapist every time she sees them. They've become good at brushing things off (for the most part). It's awesome seeing them so independent at times.

I've been a better mom than a wife. Maybe this year I can work on that. → Well I have been working on it a little. We, as a couple, have been working on it. Raising triplets, with help or not, is freaking tough on a marriage. We're not perfect but we're doing the best we can... Gab actually sent me this quote the other day:

It was pretty bang on. We still work hard and once this toddler phase is over, I'm sure it'll be all worth it!

Triplets are a freak show everywhere I go. No eye contact is the way to go. → Now that we don't really travel with the triplet stroller, the freak show isn't that bad. People still ask us if they're triplets but now we've gotten so used to it that we just shake our heads yes and smile. Some people still stare at us and we always hear the "OMG they have triplets" whispers in our backs, but I really don't mind it. I'm actually really proud of us and I'd show us off anywhere. Damn right we got triplets, what's it to you??

Some people are unbelievably rude, invasive and ignorant. → Again, because they're not longer babies, the rude and ignorant comments are actually rare and far in between. I still get the occasional "I'm glad it's you and not me" comments but I just reply "Me too" and move along. The drug question has rarely come up this year which is great because that's the one that annoyed me the most. Maybe people are becoming more sensitive to the issue or they just see in my eyes that it would be the wrong question to ask lol.

Some people are very very kind. → That is still the case.

Focusing on me has been very difficult. → I've been a little bit better at focusing on me this year. I lost almost 20 pounds (although with this Christmas season I'm sure I've put on some... I refuse to look at the scale) and I'm taking time for me. The simple fact that I've returned to work and I can have 90% of my lunches uninterrupted is amazing to me. I now wake up about an hour before the boys on the weekend so I can have a tea in peace and watch a show. It has become one of my favorite ME time. Nothing around but me, my tea and some Nashville/Scandal/Greys/Howtomurder/Onceuponatime etc...

It's ok if all three don't develop at the same rate, they'll get there... → And they did. Zachary only walked at about 15 months but he developed much quicker in other areas. Jacob still has the least amount of vocabulary but he's so busy learning the arts of baby parkour that he only has time to learn how to babble while he zips by us.

Google is the enemy. (when searching for things that might be wrong with my kids) → I've finally learned to stay away... well I guess I'm lying because I researched sleep regression today and there are only about 20 different opinions on the matter. The opinions go from let him cry for 2 hours to let him sleep on you always and forever so WTFK. Why can't Google eliminate the stupid?

Most parenting books are written by people who aren't even parents or were parents 50 years ago and so the words in them aren't gold. You figure out what works for you and go with it. → I gave up on reading parenting books. I ask friends whom I trust and have the same parenting style I do or I just go with my gut. It has worked out. For the most part. I keep hearing that my boys are good boys so I guess I'm doing something right.

I've made mistakes, and I'll make many others but I did my best and I think my boys are pretty damn good kids so far. → Yep, made many more this year. I say this to my students on a weekly basis : mistakes help you grow. It's important to make them because if you didn't you wouldn't learn. We do the best we know how and hope we don't royally F up our kids along the way.

So what else have I learned?

Toddlers can be jerks. It's like they do it on purpose. The biting, the hitting, the shoving, the tantruming (not a verb? Well it should be one), the whining, the falling off stuff... crazy how much crying you can hear in a house full of toddlers!
Staying calm is key.
Staying calm is hard.
Positive reinforcement only goes so far. I'm sorry but I can't NOT say NO when my son is biting his brother hard enough to cut through skin. That is not the time for me to say "Teeth are for biting into food only son, not your brother!". Nope, that's a big old NO, DON'T BITE YOUR BROTHER! TIME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! Although I do believe that if they hear NO too often, it won't be a word that means business so I try to say it only when necessary. They listen ok-ish...
I'm glad Super Nanny existed in my life. I'm basing a lot of my discipline tactics on what she did on the TV so let's hope she wasn't a complete fool. lol
You can't just buy one of something and expect them to share. That idealistic view of raising multiples to be toddlers who share is a busted one. It's so bad that sometimes they'll even fight for the same toy even though there two exactly like it right beside them.
Teaching them to share is difficult or should I say pretty damn near impossible. I don't know where they learned the word "MINE" but they sure love to use it!
They'll love food one day and hate the same food the next day. They'd eat cereal and yogourt morning, noon and night.
They are not the same children at home that they are in daycare and that's super annoying. What do you mean Jacob doesn't sleep well? He's the first one down here! What do you mean Jacob doesn't eat veggies? He devours them here. I know I'm picking on Jacob but he's the one who's the most different between home and daycare.

Anyways, as you can see, I could write a book about the things I've learned so I'll stop here and let you look at the rest of our weekly adventures through pictures:

Our car seat problem... Thankfully the company is going to exchange all three.

The first snow of 2015 is looking pretty awesome

Snowday meeting of the BFFs for sushi. We showed up all wearing the same shirt with scarves...

Sleep training equipment. Jacob was also giving us a hard time at night but we nipped this in the bud super quick. With wine and Netflix.

First snowman build for the boys. I did 99% of the work but they loved patting down the snow.

So much fun

Triplet sleigh ride. This man worked hard!

Staff party night out!

Love my co-workers!

And they love me!!

I'm so lucky to be surrounded every day by women who all at once get me, inspire me and let me be me. Not many people get to work with their best friends and I'm truly blessed to get to.

I know her! She's my friend!! MJ was rocking it on stage and I had to take a fan pic!

Had a playdate with the Ho twins this morning. It was at their place this time. They were all pretty much well behaved! Only one timeout (on my end) for the whole morning! So much fun!!