My sister, my hero...

Breast Cancer... such a scary concept and certainly not one I'd ever thought I'd ever have to deal with but there it is folks, the damned beast decided to attack my beloved older, and only, sister... She discovered it in November and got it checked immediately fearing the worst and the worst is what it was.  She decided to wait to tell me, my mom and her daughters until after she knew for sure.  It makes me sad that she had this secret for what must have felt like an eternity for her, through Christmas and even through our trip to Florida where we were all together and she could have shared but she feared she would have ruined our trip... As if!  As much as I wish she would have let us in on it, I respect her choices and I'm ready NOW to battle with her.  The cancer was in one of her breasts and the surgeon had first suggested that she do chemo to reduce the size of the tumor and then doing a lumpectomy so she wouldn't have to lose most of her breast.  After much thinking, talking and contemplating, she decided to do a double mastectomy.  The oncologist told my her that she didn't need to go to that extent because 6 out 7 women are completely fine after the lumpectomy and chemo.  My sister didn't, and neither did any of us, like that there was still 1 out of 7 (14% if you like percentages) that weren't completely fine and that wasn't ok with her.  She's a mom to two beautiful girls who are 8 and 10 and therefore still need their mom more than ever (but when do we ever NOT need our moms?), a wife to a man who thinks she hung the moon, a daughter to a mom who's already been through so much and MY sister, without whom I don't even know... I just can't even... she's got too much life left to live to take a chance so she bravely made the decision to have both breasts removed. One of the things that helped make a decision came from her husband's aunt who had died a short few years ago of cancer.  This amazing woman left her daughter notes before dying with advice of what to do if cancer ever came knocking at her or someone else in the family's door.  Mastectomy was one piece of advice that she firmly believed in.  The cancer had started in her breasts and came back a few years later undetected and spread throughout her body all the way to her brain.  She was certain that a double mastectomy would have saved her life.  What clinched my sister's decision was advice that came from a co-worker who has been a Godsend for my sister as she went through it all not too long ago and she had a double mastectomy.  She had, as the doctor had suggested my sister do, done a lumpectomy at first. She ended up being that dreaded 1 out of 7 women whose cancer returned two years later and that's when she did the double mastectomy. I'm glad she's there because she's able to relate to my sister's feelings, she's able to guide her through the next steps of her journey and she even showed her her battle wounds... I'm so thankful for her for being able to be there in ways that I could never be.  

My sister's surgery went really well and she's home recovering, still at peace with her decision. She is surrounded by her husband who supported her decision from the start, her daughters and my mom, who once again, raced the clock from Florida to get to the side of one of her daughters.  If you remember, she did the same for me when the boys were born.  She's amazing and the queen of positive thinking so she's a good one to be with my sister.  She'll live there for the next little while until my sister gets back on her feet.  Next, we wait... we wait to see if the lymph nodes the surgeon removed were clear, we wait to see what, or how much, chemo she'll need to do and we wait for an all clear, the beautiful "Cancer Free" words that we all know will come one day.

How am I dealing with it all?  Well I think I was numb for about a week after she told me, in complete shock and disbelief.  She told me the night before I was to start teaching again so in a way it was good timing as I was able to keep my mind of it all from 8:20 to 3:30.  I cried a lot, and I still do, at random times.  I'm often short with my husband and my in-laws (I'm sorry) because I'm just so angry.  After talking to many people myself (don't we all know someone... so awful...), I refused to think negatively.  Positive thinking is very powerful and as negative as I can be sometimes in some aspects of my life, this is one time where all I will focus on is the positive outcome.  I have to say that my colleague Riva, whose mom had gone through the double mastectomy surgery was a huge support for me, helping me with what I should expect before, during and after the surgery, so thank you.  I also have to thank one of my bff's Alicia, who was the first friend I told because I knew that she had gone through a similar situation with her husband when he had testicular cancer, so thank you Alicia.  I have a friend whose mom is battling brain cancer and she and I met by the elevators at the hospital to chat while I was waiting for my sister to get out of surgery.  My husband, bless his heart, doesn't know how to deal with me as I'm going through this because, as all men, they are solvers and he can't solve this thing for us.  He has, thankfully, always been in the positive frame of mind from the beginning so that's been a huge help for me.  My children are a constant source of happiness in my heart so that helps me get through the tough times.  I am so very lucky to be surrounded by family and friends who are the absolute best and from whom I've received so much encouragement and support, my sister has a lot of people in her corner and she WILL beat this thing and hopefully already has by cutting the damn thing away!

If you've been following my blog, you know I'm an open book.  My sister... not so much.  She's given me the go ahead to write this blog about her because she's hoping her journey may save the life of another so please share her story and help make her wish a reality: that she may save someone else's life by sharing her journey as her co-worker has been there for her.  Please don't ask too many questions, I will share what she's comfortable sharing.  I simply ask that you send us your positives vibes, love and prayers.

I will leave it at this for this week as nothing, not even my triplet adventures, needs to take precedence today.

My beautiful, incredibly brave sister... I love you to the moon and back and back again... You go this sis... XOX

Ladies!  Click this link to help you learn how to do a self check : http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/self_exam/bse_steps  DO IT TODAY!

Now more than ever, this...