Tripletville Adventures : A walk down memory lane...

A look back...

November 2013...

So during the first weekend in the NICU with the babies, it was all very hectic with all the new machines and the sights and sounds of our new surroundings. I didn't know what was what and I didn't know my role and I felt in the way and I honestly didn't even feel like the babies were mine. I still wasn't discharged and I still felt like crap. My body was still in recovery, I walked pretty much the same way I had at the end of my pregnancy; my back was all out of whack due to the fact that I was no longer pregnant and my body was trying to re-adjust itself. I could barely look at my babies because their incubators were so tall and my back hurt so much that I had to sit down every minute, so that sucked. I didn't understand anything that was going on, all I knew was that Samuel was eating well, Zachary wasn't really tolerating formula (he spit up a lot) and Jacob couldn't even digest even one millilitre of formula...

That was my first NICU experience. Since then I've been there a few times, but never inside. I walked down the long corridor I walked down every day for 8-10 times a day for a month. I rang the NICU bell to visit with the boys as they were getting older so their nurses could see their little faces again... Never inside... Yesterday was the day I went in. I will become a "buddy parent" which is a program for veteran NICU parents who go in and talk to current NICU resident parents and let them ask us all the questions they want and see if our experiences can help them. Before I can start being a buddy parent, one of my tasks was to go for a return visit to the NICU so that the first "shift" as a veteran I do isn't about MY memory lane but about the parents I'm visiting who are going through their own NICU experience. I was like: Yep, no problem, I got this. It'll be fun to see it all again! I sure as hell didn't expect to get the reaction to it I did... I went down that oh so familiar corridor without trepidation, I rang that bell excited to see who could come greet me and then the door opens and I start shaking. I look at Kim, the head nurse whom I love more than anything, I start tearing up and tell her I don't know if I can walk in. She didn't expect that from me! I was always so on the ball while I was in there. Super efficient and on a mission. I think it was the smell that did me in. You know how certain smells bring back specific memories? I used to have a shampoo I'd use that always brought me back to summer camp because I used the same shampoo every summer for 5 years... Or the smell of freshly cooked white bread brings me right back to my grandmother's kitchen as I would wait with anticipation for the fresh toast that I would lather with butter and peanut butter... Well the NICU has a NICU perfume that brings all your memories rushing back to you. Kim didn't know what smell I was talking about but since it's her job, that smell is so familiar to her that she's just assimilated it. I promise that every NICU parent would know that smell anywhere. Anyways, I finally cross the threshold, turn to the left to face the sink where I would wash my hands 15+ times a day and as I place my hand underneath the automatic soap dispenser, more memories come rushing back... that automatic soap dispenser sound... crazy how sounds also bring it back. Kim leads me to behind the counter so I can have a seat and try to take it all in before I start my tour. Since I was on the "other" side of the counter, I finally felt like my body could relax and my mind remembered that I wasn't there to see my itty bitty babies, my itty bitty babies were happy healthy big boys who were running around at daycare at the moment. The panicky feeling was finally leaving and I could try to think back about the happy moments. I then walked around the unit to see where I had my numerous breakdowns and where I would hang out with my fellow NICU moms (shout out to you Jill & Isabelle!). I went to visit my old hangout (i.e. the corner where my boys were housed) and I got lucky enough to glance at a itty bitty baby who was bigger than my boys were at birth and I couldn't believe my eyes! There's no way my big boys were so little, just impossible!! But they were... and now look at them!! It was a rough hour but I made it through and now I know that the next time I go, it will be for the parents who are living it for the first time and hopefully I'll be able to tell them that their itty bitty babies won't always be itty bitty and that it's ok to cry. I'm excited for this new journey and I'm thankful to the hospital that will allow me to do that.

This week also marked my last week with the boys part time at daycare. They start full time again tomorrow. As much as I was dreading it at the beginning of summer, I'm so glad it turned out the way it did! Not only did I have more time with my boys but since my sister and my mom were so kind to offer their help, it forced us to see each other more. Our lives are so busy that we don't always get to spend time together just the two or three of us. I truly cherished every one of those days and I'm beyond grateful for their help... I don't know what I would do with my family and Gabe's parents... I've said it before and I'll say it again, these kids are being raised by a tiny village and although Gabe and I are the parents, these kids will have so many people close to them that they will never want for love. We have been truly blessed... thank you again...

We went to an awesome wedding on Saturday night (our third if you've been keeping track) and had so much fun hanging out with our friends. It was rough because we're still being sooooooo good at our new healthy habits and they had all this wonderful food! They had a SMORES BAR!!! What?!? And then later in the night... a freaking POUTINE BAR & NACHO BAR!!!! Can you say kill me now? I took a picture of a friend's poutine and left the party. I promise, it wasn't just because of the poutine and nacho bar, I still had to get up at 6am, but it had a lot to do with it. I did have a few gin tonics though (DGTs Ains!!) and man did they ever taste good! It was a toonie bar so that was great for our poor asses! I could have had ten they were so good! I wouldn't have been able to be on the ball today though so I stopped at three... lol.

Today was our now annual photo shoot in Victoria park. We got the bench picture first because we knew that the way the boys are running around like crazy monkeys now we wouldn't be able to get a shot we wanted if we waited too long. We had a great morning and the 506 pictures my brother in law are so wicked that I have no idea how I'm going to chose my favorites! I'll post a few of them below.

Oh... Gabe just informed me that I needed to let you know that he just found poop in the washer... fun stuff right? Such is life with babies!!

That's pretty much it folks! I hope you all had a good week and I'll leave you with some pics: